Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

About the Author, A.P. Taylor + Links 2 All “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” Articles

Hi! I’m A.P. Taylor! Welcome to my website, “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids!”

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wanting some insight into my personal life so you can decipher how my alleged sick, twisted childhood full of beatings, punishments, and a lack of love from my evil birth-givers resulted in my reasons for not wanting children.

I’m afraid you’re in for a bit of disappointment.  Despite any pre-conceived notions you may have, I actually had a very happy childhood with 2 wonderfully loving parents who always supported whatever it was I wanted to do (including, ironically enough, the creating of this site).  I graduated from Hampton University – a private historically black college – and have been working hard to achieve my dreams ever since. 

I created this site for 4 reasons:

1. Because I was tired of people asking me for reasons why I decided not to have kids – now I can just point them to this website!

2. Because I realized that other people were also tired of being asked why they decided not to have kids, yet couldn’t think of reasons to give their questioners – now they can just point them to this website.

3. To get a book deal out of it.  Childless people of the world – and there are millions of us - NEED a book like this to hand to our friends when they ask us about our decision to lead a child-less life!

4. To get onto “Late Night with Conan O’ Brien,” “The Daily Show w/Jon Stewart,” or “The Colbert Report!” I’ve always been a fan of those show, and would LOVE to go on them, if only to promote my website and various books.  I don’t know exactly HOW I’ll get onto those shows… but if anyone has any ideas, let me know!!

And of course, I’m always looking for ideas to add to the blog, so if you’ve got any, send them to: neverhavingkids@gmail.com!

Thanks for checking out my “about me” page - now, get back to reading the blogs on my site!

-A.P. Taylor

P.S. One more thing: PLEASE SEND THIS WEBSITE TO YOUR FRIENDS AND TELL THEM TO READ.  The more readers I have, the more attention this site grabs, and the better a chance I have at getting a book deal in a short amount of time!

MISSED AN ARTICLE? Here are the links, in order, for all the “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” Blogs:

INTRODUCTION: Welcome to “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids!” 

#1: Too Much Energy

#2: “Mom, Can I Have 50 Cents?”

#3: She Just Kept Going and Going and…

How to Cook a Baby in 5 Easy Steps

#4: The Struggling Baby Seat

#5: No Prep Time Necessary

#6: The Longest 8 Minutes of My Life

She SAYS She Wants Kids… But What If…

Kids – They’re Not ALL Bad (As Long As They Aren’t Mine)

#7: Conversation – It’s ALWAYS About the Kids

#8: BANG! BANG! BANG! On the Window

#9: Easter Weekend with My Young Cousins

#10: Christmastime Panic for Parents Who LIED to Their Kids About Santa’s Existence

#11: “YI! YI! YI! YI! YI! YI! YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!”

#12: Mall Rugrats

#13: Which One’s the Baby?

#14: Hannah Montana Blues at Wal-Mart

#15: Clothes Shopping, Interrupted

#16: Chicken Fingers

#17: Restaurant Blues

#18: Going Back 2 School Sucks Monkey Balls

#19: F–k That Censorship Bull-$#!+

#20: Good Times, Interrupted

#21: They Poop

#22: No Dumb Arguments with Teenagers

#23: Body Ruining, Part 1 – Your Figure

#24: Body Ruining, Part 2 – Speeding Up the Aging Process

#25: “I Don’t Know…”

#26: Ugly Babies/Children

#27: Kids Born with “Issues” are NO Fun to Raise

#28: “Watch it, old man…”

#29: No Desire to Become a Nag

My YouTube Ad for “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” featuring Soulja Girl (a.k.a. That Crazy Marta Girl)

#30: Punishing Them = Punishing Yourself

#31: Because You Can’t Always Find a Babysitter

#32: Divorce

#33: No Need For Extra Worries

#34: No Extra Cargo

If You Don’t Want Kids Don’t Date Someone Who Does… You Moron

#35: Kids TV Shows Annoy the $#!+ Outta Me

#36: When Nature Gives You More Than One Kid at a Time

#37: They Look for Loopholes in What You Tell Them

#38: Do Young Children EVER Shut Up??

#39: Living Life on Repeat

#40: A Sex Life Derailed, Part 1 – Trying to Conceive

#41: A Sex Life Derailed, Part 2 – Gratification Delayed (For God Knows HOW Long)

#42: A Sex Life Derailed, Part 3 – Sex, Interrupted

#43: Ultra-Sensitive Crybabies

#44: Grocery Shopping with Children is NOT Fun

…But What if I DO Have Kids?

#45: They Don’t Come Equipped with Volume Controls

#46: Pregnancy Pains for Her… AND Him

#47: Hearing Baby Talk from Adults Annoys the $#!+ Outta Me

#48: They Can’t Stand Still

#49: Viewing Slutty Behavior from Kids is Disturbing

#50: Too Many Parents Look Stressed Out

#51: Kids w/Crappy Names Annoy the $#!+ Outta Me.. and Mine Could Have One!!

#52: Resenting the Child for Existing

#53: They Break Stuff

#54: If They Keep Hitting Me, I’ll Have to Kill Them

#55: They Make Me Sick… Literally

#56: They Don’t Bring Me “Joy” (a.k.a. Response to a Comment)

#57: Kids Are Too Easily Scared

#58: Being a Kid Referee Does Not Appeal to Me

#59: Teen Pregnancy Affects the Parents’ Lives, Too

#60: Car Trips w/Kids Suck Monkey Balls

A Bad Dream Involving a Grabby Kid + Funny Baby Picture Link!

#61: School Daze, Part 1 – Curriculum Set-Up Not Worth Sending Kids to School

#62: School Daze, Part 2 – Parent-Teacher Conferences are TORTURE!!

#63: School Daze, Part 3 – Tuition is Expensive

#64: School Daze, Part 4 – Getting Kids to Do Homework Sucks Monkey Balls

#65: School Daze, Part 5 – Summertime Schoolwork (Is a Chore for EVERYBODY)

#66: Getting Kids to Eat Certain Foods is a Chore

#67: They Fall for Peer Pressure Too Easily

#68: Dealing w/Other Kids’ Parents Can Be a Hassle

#69: They’re Not All THAT Cute

#70: They Create Too Much Damn Drama

#71: Bowling + Kids = No Fun at ALL.

#72: They Don’t Understand the Meaning of “Recession”

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