Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #75: Things I Consider Fun (Like Obama’s Inauguration) are “Boring” or “Annoying” to Kids

January 20, 2009 · 2 Comments


Above: A kid gets REAL tired while onstage behind George W. Bush, who was giving a speech.  Odd – I would have found it too fun to sleep!

A close friend of mine called me yesterday to inform me that she was going to Barack Obama’s Inauguration ceremony. And no, she didn’t have tickets.

Since the crowd is going to be HUGE at this historical event, my friend knew it would be wise to wait in advance.  So, at around 11 PM last night, she and a group of others headed out to where the event would be taking place so they could camp out overnight and get a view closer to the steps.

Had I not recently moved to California, I, too, would have gladly joined in the festivities with her.  I’m the same person that, a couple of years ago, waited 15 hours in line overnight just so I could purchase a Nintendo Wii to resell on eBay.  But I like doing those types of things – they can be quite fun, and you get to meet other people who have a similar feel for what you consider “exciting.”

However, these types of activities can be quite annoying to children. And when children aren’t having a good time, WATCH OUT! ‘Cause chances are, your fun time is going to be drastically reduced.

I can imagine there are hundreds of thousands of people who have taken their kids to this event.  There they are, trying to wait in the cold overnight and talk to others around them… and their little rug-rat, who was “dragged” to this event, is out there creating a fuss:

  • “Moo-oom! It’s too cold out here!”
  • “I need to go to the baaaath-room!”
  • “Why do we have to wait out here all night?!?”
  • “Couldn’t we just watch it on TV? We’re not going to get a good view anyway!”
  • “I’m missing my friend’s party for this!”
  • “My video game’s batteries just died! Now I have nothing to do!”
  • “But I’m going to catch pneumonia and die!  How can you let me die, ma?!?”

How do I know this is going on? Because kids are predictable: anytime they have to do something that they themselves either didn’t think of, or don’t consider fun, they complain.

Parents know this is going to happen whenever they want to do something that’s fun for THEM. This is why, 9 times out of 10, they usually forgo doing anything for themselves, if only to not have to hear their kid whine/cry/go on about how much they don’t want to do something.

At the same time, even parents have to be self-serving every once in a while.  And if they can’t find a babysitter, they have no choice but to bring the kids along, all the while knowing the misery that will come because of it!

I, on the other hand, don’t have to worry about that.  If my idea of fun is waiting in line for something all day, or sitting around the house reading a book or playing video games, it doesn’t matter how long I do it for! Why? Because I don’t have to worry if I’m being “annoying” or “boring someone to death” by doing the things I like to do!

Ah yes, the joys of NEVER having children shows itself once again!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.  If you’re a parent, send your “Dealing w/Kids Horror Stories” – who knows, your story could be the catalyst for one of my blogs!

Categories: Child Free · Childfree · Family
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