Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #73: Jon and Kate Plus 8

January 9, 2009 · 12 Comments

Above: A clip from TLC’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8,” where the two parents talk about why they are always fighting.  I think I know the answer – too many dang kids! (Note: They won’t allow me to embed the clip, but click on the link above to see what I’m talking about!)

If you are ever hanging on the fence about whether or not to have kids, do yourself a favor: watch “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ on The Learning Channel (TLC), and see if you don’t want to head out and get that vasectomy/tube tied right away!

For those of you without cable, “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ is a reality show that follows the lives of Jon, Kate, and their brood of 8 children: one set of twin girls, and one set of sextuplets (three girls and three boys).

I stumbled upon this show by accident while flipping through channels during Thanksgiving at my Grandmother’s house.  Once I knew what the show was about, I started taking notes on some of the things these two parents – who, after having the twins, only wanted to try for ONE more child – have to deal with on a daily basis. 

Man, oh man, is it ugly.

Prior to knowing this show existed, my nightmare was having to deal with ONE crying child.  Now, picture having to deal with SIX crying children at one time, all running around in various directions, fighting with each other over different things, and see if you’d be able to do it all without wanting to scream your OWN head off – not to mention the head of your spouse!

Well, guess what? On this show, that’s EXACTLY what happens. 

Kate, who I assume, at one point, was a calm, loving person, is now a mom whose entire life consists of nagging her kids.  She nags them because, to be fair, they always seem ready to do something stupid to hurt themselves or their siblings.  Almost everything she says to them is “no,” “stop it,” “mommy said come over here,” and other annoying phrases that parents are forced to say to their kids all the time.

But her kids aren’t the only ones who get nagged – Mr. Jon, who works long hours as an engineer, also gets to join in on the fun!  Yes, nothing must make him happier than coming home from a 12-hour work day, at a job he got to support his extremely big family, only to hear comments from his wife like:

  • “Please don’t squish the cereal in your anger…”
  • (To one of the kids) “Don’t listen to Daddy – he’s mean!”
  • (After he accidentally used the wrong colored scrunchie for the girls’ hair) “Did you hear me?” (Jon, from the other room: “Yes!”) “What was the end of what I said?”

Yes, ladies and gentleman, she talks to him like a child!  As a result, both of them (more her than him) say sarcastic stuff to each other and/or use their words as weapons – all in front of the kids!  Isn’t that great?  Now, when the kids get older, they’ll think that the person they’re dating doesn’t love them – as they learned from their parents, if two people aren’t fighting, they must not really love each other!

But aside from the arguing parents, what REALLY makes this show a great reason for birth control is watching the overall effect the kids have on their parents’ lives.  8 kids means:

  • 8 times the amount of money spent on grocery shopping;
  • 8 times the amount of crying;
  • 8 times the amount of diapers that have to be changed;
  • 8 times the number of “I don’t know’s” the parents have to hear when something breaks or isn’t clean
  • 8 times the mess that has to be cleaned up in the house
  • 8 times the amount of kids that have to be looked after when in public

And what’s all of that equal up to? 8 times the amount of stress both parents are constantly having to face day to day - no wonder they are always arguing with each other!  And to go from having 2 kids to 8 kids couldn’t have been easy, especially on Jon, who is younger, and was 27 when the sextuplets were born!

Now, those of you who are on the fence may see this show and think, “Well, okay, so I might not want 8 kids, but what’s wrong with having 1 or 2?” And, as I always like to say, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have kids, be it 1, 2, or 8. 

HOWEVER, if you’re already thinking you might not want to deal with the hassles that kids can bring, imagine how you’ll feel when you decide to try having ONE kid - like Jon and Kate wanted – and “accidentally” ending up with more than you bargained for?  By then it will be too late to go back…

…unless, of course, you want to end up being a deadbeat Mom/Dad who doesn’t really pay much attention to their kids.  You COULD, in theory, go that route.  As for me, I think I’ll just stick to NEVER having kids in the first place!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.  If you’re a parent, send your “Dealing w/Children Horror Stories” to the same address – who knows? It could end up being the catalyst for my next blog!

Categories: Child Free · Family
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12 responses so far ↓

  • CF Sista // January 9, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    I despise that show. They get paid quite a nice chunk of $$$ for every show, take trips and project a semi-leisurely (when Jon and Kate are not at each other’s throats), and the average family household with eight kids is definitely not like that.

    The tension and dislike Jon and Kate now obviously have for each other is sometimes palpable, even though they are on T.V. I guess they feel STUCK until the T.V. show runs its course, then I have a feeling Jon will be saying “BUH-BYE!” to Kate and their eight shortly thereafter.

  • CF Sista // January 9, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Oops…meant to write “semi-leisurely life.”

  • ma2jenna // January 10, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Well, the fact that Jon is a stay at home parent too and does not work a 12 hour day, nor has he in likely a couple years, I don’t feel sorry for him. And because they use the non talent of having squirted a litter to live in a million dollar home and live off their kids also leaves me less than feeling bad for them. The only people I do feel sorry for are the kids who get to be filmed going to the bathroom, being constipated and having meltdowns because of the abnormality of their lifestyle.

  • fxfanatic // January 10, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Don’t base all kids on Kate’
    Kids are never the problem. It’s the parents.

  • The Girl from the Ghetto // January 10, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    I’m sad that your clip got disabled. What was it about? This show is crazy! And the fans even crazier!

  • CF Sista // January 10, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    Re: fxfanatic: You’re being sarcastic, right? LOL

  • fxfanatic // January 10, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Umm, sort of???
    I love MY kid but I never wanted kids until I was in my mid 30’s and with a man that I THOUGHT was somebody I wanted to share my life with
    My kid is great (usually) but I TOTALLY understand somebody not wanting kids and respect them for it. I can’t stand the people who have kids and constantly complain about them. I also hated when I was single and people would pressure me about having kids or getting married. I think that marriage is DEFINITELY not for everybody and some just don’t understand that. I could start a blog on “whyimnevergettingmarriedagaineverever” but I’m afraid I’d burn up my hard drive with all my logical reasons.

    I think Jon & Kate’s kids are adorable and I think they wouldn’t be so unpleasant if they had parents who knew how to be decent human beings.

  • Cookiecody // January 11, 2009 at 10:22 am

    I don’t see how they could afford to get divorced (though they appear to be headed that way). Child support for 8 kids would be astronomical, and Kate would have to get a job, or a team of nannies, and how would they afford that?


  • CF Sista // January 11, 2009 at 1:36 pm


    I agree that marriage and parenthood is not for everybody, and it’s too bad that Jon and Kate are in their current situation and at each other’s throats, but hey, bed.made.lie.

    Now, back to the point at hand – I don’t agree that the way a kid acts is necessary all the parents ‘ fault. I came from a really dysfunctional family, where my mother barely raised or cared for my sister, brother and me. We kids usually starved for days on end and lived in condemned houses without heat or electricity, but somehow, my sister and I turned out ok. My brother is somewhere on the borderline of having an ok life, but that’s another story for my own blog. LOL

    Then, there are those parents who actually do a decent job trying to guide and raise their kids up to be productive citizens, and those kids still turn out to be idiots, so that’s why I asked if you were being sarcastic with that remark.

  • fxfanatic // January 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    I agree with you, CF Sista,
    I think I was mainly referring to Jon & Kate because I think their kids are actually pretty good, considering.

    You should be very proud of yourself for surviving such a tough life. I cannot imagine the pain you went through so I won’t pretend I can relate.

  • washwords // January 12, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    a MEN sisterfriend. I effin hate this show. I hate how awful Kate is to that poor hubby of hers. I hate how we’re supposed to feel sorry for them for making a selfish choice that costs us all money and put some pretty small people with no say in the matter at risk.

    Don’t get me wrong I love me some reality tee vee. but exploiting kiddies? uck.

  • Nora // February 11, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    My fallopian tubes actually TIED THEMSELVES while I was watching this! XD

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