Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #70: They Create Too Much Damn Drama

September 14, 2008 · 1 Comment

Above: A woman argues with her son about… well, I don’t know, because it’s in a different language.  No matter the race, they all have one thing in common: they all have kids that create DRAMA!

I live a relatively drama-free life.  I don’t smoke, I don’t drink excessively, I don’t do drugs, and I don’t partake in activities that would have my mind altered to the point where I’d make too many stupid decisions.

I also don’t allow people into my close-knit circle that do these types of things, or have an excessive amount of drama going on.  Oh sure, it’s THEIR drama, but those types of things always end up spilling over to a person’s friends even when they’re not trying to invite it into their own lives personally.

They say a little rain must fall into everyone’s life, and mine has been no different – but I’d like to think that I’ve done a pretty good job of trying to keep the amount of rain to a minimum.

Is should, therefore, be no surprise why a person such as myself who does not want to purposefully add drama to their lives would be against having any children.  Why? ‘Cause when it comes to stirring up troublesome situations, kids are the KINGPINS of drama!

Who else but children can make what would be an otherwise peaceful restaurant outing and turn it into a brawl-fest with the help of their siblings?  Who else but kids can throw a tantrum and ruin a perfectly good day simply because you ask them not to touch something that belongs to YOU?

Who else but a kid can do something stupid enough to nearly get themselves killed, yet try to come up with a logical explanation for doing it – and then get mad at YOU for being mad at them?!?

Ah, kids… they are such drama-creators!  When I think about kids, I immediately think about:

  • The number of fights I’ll have to break up between them (”them” being if they have siblings)
  • The amount of crying I’ll have to hear
  • The number of parent/teacher conferences I’ll have to attend for them messing up in school
  • The amount of safe boxes I’ll have to buy if I want to prevent my kids from breaking things
  • The number of stupid arguments I’ll have to get into
  • The number of events that will be ruined or brought to a heightened amount of drama simply because my kid wants to throw a tantrum of some kind
  • Having to deal with other parents as a result of my kids’ friends, and the drama THEY bring

And so on and so on!

In short, kids bring with them love, joy, and plenty of affection… and they also bring fights, arguments, stupidity, and drama, Drama, DRAMA!! 

I was a theatre major in college – if I want drama, I’ll head back to the stage.  I will NOT, however, have kids for it!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.  If you’re a parent, send your “Dealing w/Kids Horror Stories” – who knows, your story could be the catalyst for my next blog!

Categories: Children · Family · Parent
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