Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #65: School Daze, Part 5 – Summertime Schoolwork (Is a Chore for EVERYBODY)

July 3, 2008 · No Comments

Above: A kid complains about his first day back from Summer School.  If he was my kid, he wouldn’t be the only one complaining!

As if having to pay to send a kid to school wasn’t bad enough, someone decided to think up the genius idea of opening up classes during the 3 months of the year they should have off – summertime!

Oh great – so now, if my kid does bad in school during the regular year, I can send him back to the building to do just as bad during the summer?  Where do I sign the kid up???

I know what you’re probably thinking: “A.P. Taylor, if you don’t like having kids around, wouldn’t having MORE school time year ’round allow you to get them away from you for longer periods of time?”

And you’d be correct – if it weren’t for the little inconveniences that come along with sending a kid to summer school!

To start with, most areas don’t have buses to pick up kids during the summer school period.  Consequently, I’d be the one having to drive my kid early in the morning to the building – that cuts into my sleep time, breakfast time, and “doing whatever the heck I’d feel like REALLY doing” time, and for what?  To take my kid to a classroom when he’d rather be playing outside anyway?!

Secondly, summer school classes are usually made up of a lot of busy work/bull-spit courses.  I’m not saying that my kid signing up for Home EC. class is a waste of time; I’m yelling it at the top of my lungs – SOME OF THOSE COURSES ARE WASTES OF TIME.  The time my daughter would be spending in an apron learning how to bake cakes is the same time she could be at the pool with friends, or better – spending time with ME learning how to make cakes so I could have some, too!

But the absolute worse part of summer school: HOMEWORK.  I already hate the idea of having to re-learn stuff I long forgot, or forcing a kid to do work I consider crap in the first place.  Adding the fact that it’s summertime into the mix would only make having to force my kid to do the work even WORSE. 

I never understood why schools did that in the first place.  Why, for example, would an English teacher give kids a list of books to read during the summer?  The teachers knows that the kids barely read the material they were given when there wasn’t a vacation going on, yet they think to themselves, “Gee, with all that summer leisure time, I’m 100% sure they’ll want to read some Dickens, too!” 

Well, SUCK MY DICKENS, you non-caring teachers!!!  All you end up doing is making a parent’s job even HARDER.  Summertime is meant to be fun for kids, and a break for parents from having to be a “homework monitor.”  It isn’t supposed to be a continued jail sentence for all parties involved!

But guess what?  MY summers will continue to be carefree, ’cause I ain’t having kids, and I ain’t makin’ anyone do any math or read books during their vacation!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories/ideas to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.  If you’re a parent, send your “Dealing w/Kids Horror Stories” – who knows, your story could be the catalyst for my next blog!

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