Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

…But What if I DO Have Kids?

June 7, 2008 · 2 Comments

In the last couple of weeks, this site has become really popular!  People I don’t even know have started reading it, and it’s been quite an interesting mixture of people who, like me, do NOT want kids, and people who have kids and completely understand how a person might not want to deal with all they bring to the table.

Of course, when starting a site called “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids,” you’re bound to have people asking you one question over and over again:

“So, what’ll happen if you DO have kids?”

A fair question to ask.  After all, despite any attempts I may use to avoid having kids – using condoms, making a girl use birth control before having sex, getting a vasectomy, practicing abstinence, etc. - there is always a chance something could go wrong. 

Why? Because no method is 100% effective against not having kids. Condoms break, birth control efficiency can be minimalized if she’s taking another drug, vasectomies don’t always take, and even if I try not having sex, there’s always a chance that one of my relatives who have kids could die, leaving me the sole person old enough to take care of their children.

As you can tell, I’ve thought about all this.  So, what would happen if I DID, somehow, become a parent?

Well, even though the thought of having them around makes me nauseous, I know I’d be able to handle it.  Once something goes from being an option to a “have-to” – in this case, from having the option of not having kids to having no choice but to take care of them – people can usually figure out a way to handle the task.  It would certainly be an adjustment, but not anything I don’t feel I couldn’t handle out of necessity.

Furthermore, I had a good childhood with two great role models as parents.  Clearly, I’d be able to use what I learned from them in figuring out how to be a good Dad to my kids.  I think I’d actually be a pretty patient parent – not too many things annoy me, and even with the bothersome traits that kids have, it probably wouldn’t be any worse than some of the annoying adults I’ve had to hang around!

Lastly, what would I do about this site?  Could I continue to maintain a site called “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” if I end up having kids myself?

The answer is “Yes – sort of.”  I’d probably have to change it to “Why I Wish I’d NEVER Had Kids,” but the theme would pretty much be the same.  The one advantage of having a kid around is simple: they’d be doing so much stuff to get on my nerves on a regular basis, I’d have material for life!

So, that’s my answer to that question: if I had kids, I’d definitely be there to love and care for them, while at the same time knowing they’d do enough annoying stuff to warrant me updating this site with reasons for childless people to give their friends on why they are NEVER having children!

-A.P. Taylor

P.S. If you’re a parent and have any “dealing with children” horror stories, send them to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.  Who knows, your story might be featured in an upcoming blog as to why other people may NEVER want kids!

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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2 responses so far ↓

  • washwords // June 8, 2008 at 12:41 am

    ha ha ha. also your loyal readers (me) might get really mad and suffer from abandonment issues forevermore, but whatever as long as you’re cool with that…

  • CF Sista // January 5, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    I’d NEVER be able to handle it. I am permanently snipped, but if I weren’t and popped up pregnant, I would be taking my ass to the next Planned Parenthood for an abortion right quickly like.

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