Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #40: A Sex Life Derailed, Part 1 – Trying to Conceive

June 1, 2008 · No Comments

Above: A video stating facts and figures about infertility.  Nice music in the background!

Sex - really good sex – is hard enough work as it is.

Oh sure, you can have lazy sex, where one person lies there while the other person barely thrust/pumps, and even then it’ll still feel pretty good. 

But good sex – mind-blowing, “oh my God, I have GOT to tell my friends about the night I just had” sex – takes work.  It’s fun work, mind you (at least when I do it), but it IS work.

However, there’s a difference between sex being work and sex becoming a JOB.  And if you’re trying to have a baby, that’s exactly what sex becomes – a job.

And, not unlike your actual job, this one can also become a painful experience that you end up dreading if you don’t end up with the results you desire!!

The nice thing about not wanting to have kids is, I don’t have to worry about any other outcomes for sex other than if she and I were pleasured in some form of way.  If it turns out that she didn’t get completely satisfied, all I have to do is work on my technique a lil’ bit, and chances are I’ll be able to give her what both she and I want.

It’s a different thing, though, when you’re having sex with the goal of having children.

Now, instead of trying to bed your partner with thoughts of, “Oh boy, I hope we both get ours tonight,” you get to prepare for sex with thoughts of, “Oh boy, I hope THIS is the night that makes our baby!”

Only one small problem with that: just because both you and your partner are ready to conceive a child, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen right away.  In fact, there’s a good chance it could take you both 3 months, 6 months, a year, or LONGER, to get pregnant. 

This can take all the fun out of your sex life.  The longer you go without having a baby, the more sex becomes less like “fun time in the sack,” and more like “that thing we have to do again in hopes of having a kid.”

And this is just for couples who do NOT have anything reproductively wrong with them!  There are millions of people in world who have infertility issues, both men and women.  Men can have lazy sperm cells, while women can have ovaries filled with chemicals that kill sperm on contact.

These issues can lead to a plethora of relationship problems, and not just sex-related.  Couples can become depressed and distant from each other; financial issues can arise as a result of the costs to try and treat the problem; and, if one person decides they no longer want to try and have a child, break-ups can occur, even for a couple who once truly loved each other.

The bottom line: not every reason I have for not wanting kids is from how they are AFTER they get here.  Sometimes, the issues that can come up BEFORE they’re even born seem too stressful to even spend time going through. 

And for me, the idea that I’d meet a great woman, try to have kids with her, and end up having a crappy sex life and a strained relationship simply because we aren’t having a child ASAP, is even MORE reason for me not to try and have them in the first place!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories/ideas to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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