Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

If You Don’t Want Kids, Don’t Date Someone Who Does… You Moron

May 25, 2008 · No Comments

In case you haven’t noticed by now, I am NEVER having kids. 

I have no desire to deal with little rugrats, anklebiters, or any other funny nicknames they can be called.  It’s just not in me.  Therefore, I feel it is only fair to date someone who also doesn’t want kids.

Apparently, though, there are people out there who, like me, do not want kids, yet are dating someone who DOES, in fact, want kids.

And to those people, I say:

STOP IT.  STOP DATING THAT PERSON RIGHT NOW.  YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME AND THEIR TIME, AND YOU NEED TO BAIL OUT BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

The other day, I overheard a conversation where a guy was telling his friend about his girlfriend.  It turns out his girlfriend had recently gotten out of the hospital after having had a miscarriage.  The friend asked his buddy what he would have done if she hadn’t had the miscarriage, to which he replied:

“I don’t know.  I mean, I already told her I don’t want to have kids.  She wants them, though, and that often causes conflicts and arguments between us…”

And I thought to myself: OF COURSE IT DOES, YOU MORON!!

I find it extremly stupid for two people who have opposing desires involving children to date each other!  It’s stupid for either person to think that they are going to convince the other person to change their mind about whether or not to have kids! 

I know, I know, some of you might be thinking: “But Mr. Taylor, just because my boyfriend/girlfriend wants/doesn’t want kids right now, they may change their mind in the future!”

And that very well could happen – but let’s be real:  the chances of someone who does or doesn’t want kids changing their mind is very slim, at best.  Just because Rose and Johnny down the street had arguments about kids because Johnny didn’t want them, then changed his mind, doesn’t mean your boyfriend is going to do the same – Rose and Johnny’s case is about 1 in 100, and you shouldn’t look for it to happen.

Besides, what if it DOES happen?  Suppose your partner comes up to you one day and says, “okay, I don’t REALLY want kids, but if it’ll make YOU happy, we can have them?”  Are you supposed to be happy about that?? That other person STILL doesn’t want kids!

How do you think that person is going to treat the kid when it’s finally born??  Do you know how many mothers and fathers are left stranded to raise a kid on their own because the other person, upon the child arriving, changed their mind about wanting to be involved in any form of child-raising? 

The reality is: THEY NEVER CHANGED THEIR MIND IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

People criticize me all the time about my decision to NOT want kids, but at least I’m upfront about it with the women I date – heck, it’s one of the first things I try to bring up within the first few dates!  That way, neither of us will be wasting our time with someone who doesn’t want what we want in reference to children. 

And it’s actually EASIER to get this issue out of the way early on, instead of waiting until you’ve been with the person for 2 years.  By then you’re attached to the person, and it becomes harder to split yourself away from them should you find out they want the opposite of what you want.

So, to the people out there reading this that don’t want kids, remember: it’s not fair for you to knowingly date someone that wants kids.  Save yourself a few fights in the future, and let these women know in some way that children are NOT in your future.  You may lose a few women, but it’s better than getting stuck with a kid you didn’t really want to have around in the first place!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories/ideas to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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