Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #33: No Need for Extra Worries

May 22, 2008 · No Comments

Above: A news report: “Could YOUR kid get infected with germs by playing at the local playground??” Only one way to find out… WATCH THIS VIDEO!

Having kids brings another unwanted side-affect to a person’s life: a sudden need to worry about everything!

I enjoy my life right now, and as such I tend not to worry about anything.  I’m the only person I have to look out for, and, since I trust myself to know how to deal with various situations should they arise, I tend to not let things scare me to the point that I’m constanly thinking about what could go wrong.

However, people who have kids seem to let their “worry” radars go from a reading of – oh, let’s say, 3 or 4 – to about 80 million*!  (*Rough estimate, of course.)

Part of the reason is, when kids are first born they have have to be constantly monitored because they WILL try to do things to kill themselves, be it something uncontrollable like falling asleep in their crib at the wrong angle (thus causing “crib death”), or something they purposefully do without knowing it could kill them, like eating dirt or walking into the street without looking.

Because a parent has to be on such high alert, especially during those first few years, they often go from worrying about little things, to EVERYTHING.  And some of the things parents start to worry about can be very, VERY stupid.

How stupid, you ask?  I’ve met parents who are adament about not letting their child drink anything with ice in it for fear of ruining their teeth!  Sure, these same adults have been drinking iced beverages since they were kids and have healthy enamels… but they had kids, started reading books, and because one book said that their kids’ teeth might not grow in right by giving them ice, the parents become freaked out whenever they spot one of those evil little cubes floating in their kids’ cups!

What’s even worse, is that parents are always seeking out things to worry about!  Look at the video above about the playground experiment.  The question at the beginning of the video was: “When children play at parks, could they be playing with danger at the same time??  Could your child be exposed to dangerous substances just by hanging out at the jungle gym, or sliding down the slide??”

A parent who catches wind of the opening of this report, then turns it off, may end up thinking: “Oh no – maybe it IS a bad idea to expose my children to playground germs… I have to go get little Billy off that swing-set!!”

And so, the parent will run out of the house, without seeing the rest of the report where, ultimately, it is found that all the bacteria found on the playground wasn’t harmful, and is already on their child’s skin.

Worst of all, though, is that the amount of things a parent worries about in reference to their child only gets bigger as the year’s progress.  Here is just a small amount of things parents end up worrying about:

  • Who their kids’ friends are
  • If their kids are talking to strangers
  • The type of foods they are eating
  • If they, as parents, are setting good examples
  • If punishing/spanking their kids will ruin them for life
  • If the school they are going to is giving them a good education
  • Is their self-esteem too low
  • Is their self-esteem too high
  • Did they wear a jacket out in the cold weather
  • Are they wearing the correct size shoes
  • Can the babysitter REALLY be trusted
  • Will they be able to take care of themselves when I’m not around
  • Did they get into the right college
  • Are they having pre-marital sex
  • Are they in with the right crowd
  • Are they doing drugs
  • Are they REALLY doing their homework
  • Will they grow up and need counselling
  • Am I being a good parent
  • Am I showing more attention to one child than the other
  • Did they tie their shoe laces
  • Will this small cold my child has turn into something deadly
  • Should I let them see that PG-13 movie even though they’re only 12 and 10
  • If they play (name of sport), will they break their leg
  • What are they doing behind my back that I don’t know about

Again, this is just a SMALL list.  Frankly, I just don’t feel the need to add this list of worries to my life, people!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories/ideas to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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