Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #32: Divorce

May 21, 2008 · No Comments

Above: A college student tells the class about his parent’s summer divorce.  Absolutely friggin’ hilarious – pass this one around!

A divorce can affect the life of the children involved… yet they can also be the cause of a marriage break-up.

Yes, despite what millions of divorcing couples may tell their children about how it’s “not their fault that Mommy and Daddy” are breaking up, children – while not being the immediate reason for the marriage failure – CAN be a factor in their divorce.

Part of the reason for this is that when people fall in love, they focus so much on their lovey-dovey feelings for each other, yet oftentimes forget to have conversations about other important things they will face should they get married.  Things such as finances, places to live, and – most importantly – children!

Each of us was raised in a different parental environment, resulting in different outlooks on how kids should be raised.  Consequently, a couple who may really be in love with each other may have kids, then find out they have 2 very contrasting parenting styles.  One person may be a strict disiplinarian while the other may be a little more lenient on following the rules.

And the result? CONFLICT!

For example: one parent may not want their 5-year old boy watching music videos, feeling that the gratuitous booty-shaking may cause their young man to grow up and degrade women.  The other parent, meanwhile, may not mind his little boy watching the videos, figuring “Hey – at least we know he’ll grow up liking women!”

This one little issue, however, can lead to BIG fights about stupid stuff, such as which parent is REALLY looking out for the best interest of the child, who loves him more, who gets to set the rules of the house, etc.  Next thing you know, this once “loving” couple is now yelling back and forth at each other, all while little Johnny is listening in the next room!

And this is just on ONE issue!  People don’t realize how many issues suddenly pop-up once a kid arrives on the scene. Not properly discussed, it can cause two people to resent each other, or feel like the other person just doesn’t care about their needs.  Very, very sad.

Then, there are the people who knowingly get married to the wrong person!  They may have thought they’d never find true love, so they settle with someone they don’t really like just so they can have somebody.  After a few years, though, they realize they aren’t happy with that person, and decide to bail out.

In this case, the advantage of NOT having kids is simple: if a couple wants to get divorced, they can dissolve the marriage without too much of an issue.  If they have kids, however… oh boy, oh boy, what a mess it can cause!

Anyone who heard about Paul McCartney’s divorce from Heather Mills knows just how UGLY it can get, especially with kids involved.  Parents going back and forth about the other one not loving the kid, fighting for monies for child/spousal support, the dividing up of how much time the kid gets with each parent… it can be quite the mess!

And think about the affect a divorce has on a kid’s life! No matter how the parents try to soften the blow, splitting up can have long-lasting negative side affects on a kid, leading them to do stuff that’s harmful to themselves, or having feelings of depression and suicide. 

This is yet another reason why I don’t want to have kids.  I feel like I’m a pretty good judge of figuring out which women I should date or stay away from, but God forbid my judgement be wrong, and we accidentally end up having a kid, then deciding to break up!  The last thing I’d want to do is add a third person into the divorce whose life I could ruin from the impact of the event!

Remember, people: if you are dating someone and you’re thinking about marrying them, take time out to discuss the issue of kid-raising, and make sure the person you’re going to marry is one that you REALLY want to be with.  There’s no need to put a kid through pain and agony because you made a bad decision about who your spouse was going to be.

And – if you’re like me and don’t want kids – make sure you tell every girl you date about it BEFORE it gets too serious.  Nothing sucks more than dating someone for two years, marrying them, and finding out AFTER the wedding that only ONE of you wants children!!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories/ideas to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

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