Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #29: No Desire to Become a Nag

May 18, 2008 · No Comments

 

(Above: A Mother takes stock of all the things she would tell her kids in a 24-hour period… and narrows it down into a 2-minute and 55-second song.  In short, it’s hilarious!)

Nagging.  It’s the second-most under-reported crime in the world, next to theft of grapes at the grocery store (admit it, we ALL take a few grapes from the store!!)

Nagging is when a person tries to sound helpful by giving another person advice in a nice way… yet, somehow, it sounds like they’re complaining at the same time, which makes it sound very annoying as a result.  And who are the people most responsible for this under-reported crime?

PARENTS, that’s who!

Because a parent’s main purpose is to see to it that their child doesn’t kill themselves, they can often be heard telling their kids things that sound helpful to their child’s well-being.  Unfortunately, because kids like to do whatever they like, they have to be told, quite often, to do the opposite of what’s against their instinct.  Consequently, the things parents say to their kids can, overtime, go from sounding helpful… to sounding like they’re nagging.

The thing that sucks the worst about it?  Not everything a parent nags their kid about is really worth telling them in the first place!  For example, if it’s 50 degrees outside, and a kid is about to go outside without a coat on, a parent might yell, “hey, don’t forget your coat, or you’ll catch a cold and die!”  Yet, the last time I checked, very few kids have died from going 30 minutes without added coat-padding.

Unfortunately, because there’s so much stuff parents feel is worth nagging their kids about, it can become hard to decipher what and when to say these things.  The result? The parent becomes something they promised themself they would never be: a nag!

Just think of all the wonderful nagging phrases YOU’LL get to say if you decide to have kids:

* “Don’t touch that, it’s dangerous!”

* “Drink all your milk, or you’ll have weak bones and grow up with calcium deficiency!”

* “Make sure you brush your teeth before you go outside!”

* “Do your homework before you watch TV!”

* “Don’t chew on that ice, you’ll ruin your teeth!”

* “You’d better clean your room or you’re grounded, mister/missy!”

* “How many times do I have to tell you to… (insert name of item they have yet to do)?!?”

* “Have you finished eating your vegetables?!?”

Doesn’t being a person who nags all the time sound like fun?  Oh, what’s that? It doesn’t sound appealing to you?  Well, in that case, maybe YOU – like me – shouldn’t EVER have kids!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

 

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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