Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #22: No Dumb Arguments With Teenagers

May 9, 2008 · 1 Comment

from vodpod.com posted with vodpod

Teenagers are a preculiar breed of people.

No longer kids yet not quite adults, they live in a world of limbo where they are not quite ready to take on the world themselves, yet still have a strong need to have a life free from their parent’s rules.  Consequently, the teenage years can be quite the little hell for parents to deal with – and part of that hell includes having dumb arguments with their moronic-acting children.

Because their hormones aren’t quite at a level that makes them want to make sense, teenagers will constantly go out and do things that are… well, stupid to say the least – yet be willing and ready to defend their actions at any moment with as much yelling, pouting, foot-stopming and gusto as they can!

A teenager will do something dumb, like throw a party at their parents house whilst they are out of town, and then get mad at THEM for coming home earlier than expected and finding out about the festivities being thrown in their absence.  This teenager will scream and shout about how they are no longer a little kid, that the friends they had over weren’t doing anything, all the while knowing that they were in the wrong for disobeying their parents’ rules in the first place!

And if a teenager feels like they’re losing an argument – i.e. they understand what they are saying is extremely stupid yet can’t go back on it, lest they admit to their parents that they were wrong – they use the oh-so-famous argument of:

“Well, didn’t YOU ever make mistakes like this when YOU were young???” (Incidentally, I always said that if I had kids and they asked this question, my response would be: “Yes, I did, and I got grounded for a month for doing it.  Do you want the same punishment??”)

Arguments with teenagers are NOT fun.  Whereas kids will usually throw a tantrum for a time (also not fun) then move on to the next thing within a few hours, teenagers can take an argument and drag it out for DAYS.  You could have an argument about your teenager needing to clean the dishes in the kitchen, and they’ll come back at you with “You never notice all those times when I DID clean the dishes!!! I hate you!!”  Next thing you know, you have a teen around your house who, for 5 days, answers everything you say or ask of them with, “not that you’ll notice if I DO do it, mom!”

As an adult who survived this period of idiocracy in his life and lived to tell about it, I don’t feel the need to spend 7 years of my life arguing with a teenager about dumb stuff.  Teens make decisions to do dumb stuff that is unsafe, not healthy for them, and breaks the rules – and the last thing I feel the need to do is spend any brain power trying to think of a way to explain the consequences of this stuff logically to a person who wants to do illogical stuff.

And if nothing I’ve said in this article convinces you NOT to have kids, please watch the video above – it involves a mother trying to put some sense into her daugher’s head after having snuck out the house to meet up with a guy… that she just met on MySpace?!?  How DUMB is that?!?

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

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