Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #13: Which One’s The Baby??

April 9, 2008 · No Comments

In case you haven’t noticed, I catch the train a LOT. I don’t have a car at the moment, so I’m forced to travel the city on the MARTA train. It sucks, but it gives me great material for blogging, especially when it comes to observing kids.

I was on my way to work yesterday, and while waiting for the train I saw a mother with a newborn baby. How do I know it was a newborn, you ask? Well, it was small, wrapped up in a blanket that was thicker than the padding for a box of fragile China, and the mother had a bag full of toddler items sitting on both sides of her.

At one point, the mother took out a tissue and started wiping the babies nose. I hate seeing babies with crust around their noses, and wiping snot off a kid is just one of the many reasons I don’t want to have them.

The baby didn’t act up in any way, but I did notice something rather funny. The mother was trying to transport items from the bag to use for the baby, one of those being a pacifier. As she was getting the pacifier out of the bag, the southbound train she was waiting for started to arrive. Without a second thought, the mother placed the pacifier in her OWN mouth, gathered her things, and waited for the train to stop so she could get on it.

That’s right, ladies and gentleman: a grown woman… sucking on a pacifier. Because nothing says “I’ve been trapped into the world of parenthood” like reverting back to looking like a baby!

Luckily, that’s something I’ll NEVER have to deal with!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

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