Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #12: Mall Rug Rats

April 4, 2008 · No Comments

Taking a lunch break from my job, I decided to mosey on over to the mall to get some food. First, though, I wanted to stop by the Apple Store to check any emails I may have gotten this morning (since you can use the computers at their store for free – take THAT, FedEx!)

En route to get to the store, I passed 3 women, 2 of whom had strollers. I pondered why the third woman didn’t have a stroller since moms tend to roll together with their children… a few feet ahead, though, I found my answer. The third child – a daughter who was a bit too big for a stroller – was lying face down in the middle of the mall floor.

Now, to me, this is pretty disgusting – I mean, people who may have stepped in God knows what all day may have stepped there – but I’m pretty sure I did this kind of thing as a kid, too. I was about to pass by this kid without thinking anything else about it, when suddenly, I heard the mom say:

“Okay, honey, get up from the floor and come over here!”

I could sense it about to happen before it happened, and sure enough…

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaa- aaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

The kid started screaming its lungs out. And what did the mother do?

“Okay, honey, that’s ONE!” Ooooh, like saying “that’s one” is REALLY going to make a kid want to shut-up. Sure enough, the kid cried out one more time before the mother finally got off her butt, picked the kid up off the ground and sat her back down with the rest of the ladies.

As for me, I walked away, thanking GOD this kid – or any other kid for that matter – was NOT mine!

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,