Why I’m NEVER Having Kids

Why I’m NEVER Having Kids #3: She Just Kept Going and Going and…

March 4, 2008 · No Comments

(Note: This incident occured on December 12, 2006.) 

Another blog in my “Why I’m NEVER having kids” series.

As I’m sitting here at the library, I am sitting two seats away from a mother and what appears to be her 2 to 3 year old daugher. This kid has been standing here in the library, where it’s supposed to be QUIET, making strange noises and talking for the last 18 minutes and counting. She’s like a friggin’ energizer battery – she keeps on talking and talking and talking, saying one or two words about 50 dozen times – “Mama, dada, mama, dada, mama, dada -” before switching over to some other words that she also repeats ad nauseum.

Every so often, the mother – trying to look up jobs on the internet – will turn around and smack her daughter, telling her to “Shut the hell up.” Almost 1 second after being smacked, the daughter goes back to making strange noises. If it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t have computer access in my apartment I’d be going home now.

People – I am NEVER having kids. EVER. Quote me on that, imbed it into your memory, and put it into public record. If you ever see me with my own kids, it will only be because either (a) the condom broke, or (b) the vasectomy didn’t take, and I’m suing the doctor for it.

-A.P. Taylor

Send your “Why I’m NEVER Having Kids” stories to neverhavingkids@gmail.com.

Categories: Babies · Children · Dad · Family · Kids · Mom · Parent · People · Teenagers
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